All That's Left
by Izarin
Summary: Out of all of the possibilities - this was the one that had to take place. Shizuo/fem!Izaya - warning: Character death.


The fact was that he knew this was coming.

But god, nothing could've prepared him for it.

He just tried to go over all of the options that they had. The numerous examinations they had performed to make sure they knew all of the outcomes. And this was one of them, but it was still hard to believe that out of all of the possibilities – this is the one that had to take place.

He couldn't move.

Of course, he was in there when it happened. Everything … _seemed_ to be going well. But of course he was going to act out when Shinra suddenly needed Shizuo to leave the room. Shizuo had no _idea_ what was going on and nobody would tell him.

He kept being told over and over again; "The baby is fine! You'll see her in a minute!"

But his other questions kept being avoided, and before he knew it he was seated in his friend's living room with a nervous and pacing Celty in front of him.

And yet _she_ kept telling him to stay calm.

Shinra had come out of the back room alone not even 5 minutes later, with an unreadable expression on his face. He stepped in front of Shizuo, who still couldn't _say_ anything. He was certain whatever was going to come out of his mouth wasn't going to be ideal.

But Shinra opened his mouth, and he closed his mouth; trying to talk. Trying to say _something_. But nothing came out. Shinra just collapsed onto his knees, letting tears escape from his eyes as he apologized and begged for Shizuo to forgive him.

He had a feeling this wasn't about the health of his daughter anymore.

Celty had gotten the hint, especially after hearing a few cries coming from the back room. The child was alright, safe with Shinra's step-mother who had been helping.

She passed her phone in front of Shinra. Shizuo didn't know what was written on the screen, but Shinra nodded his head, trying to regain himself. Trying to straighten himself out so he could get out what he needed to say.

Shizuo knew all too well the next thing his childhood friend was about to say, but it didn't make it hurt any less when Shinra finally calmed down enough in order to say it.

"Izaya didn't make it."

Not even Shizuo thought it was possible to have his life crash down right before his eyes. Out of all of the trauma he endured as a child, as an adult; he didn't think anything could've been as terrible as this.

He took a deep breath, gritting his teeth together for a moment before he tried to speak up again.

"R-Repeat that?"

Shinra had difficulty looking up. He stayed on his knees, gripping at the carpet.

"S-She originally just passed out from the fatigue…" His voice cracked half way through, "But then she went into cardiac arrest – I-I didn't know _why_. I… I still don't… " He paused. "Please Shizuo – I didn't know this would happen! I tried to recover her but – Please forgive me!"

Shinra was asking for _forgiveness_. As if Shizuo was going to put the blame on him for his best friend's death.

"Shinra no… Just – she's… gone?"

The doctor sat back, nodding his head. "Yes. S-Shizuo I'm… I'm so sorry."

He didn't know what to _do_. Should he just sit there? Should he get _angry_ and take it out on Shinra after all? Was Shinra just fucking with him? Shinra wouldn't do that – Shizuo _knew_ better than to just get mad at something that wasn't his _fault_.

He had to keep repeating; _she was weak. This wasn't an easy pregnancy. She was sick throughout most of it._

But death _still_ never crossed his mind.

Instead, Shizuo stood up and walked past his two friends, who seemed to be at a loss for words. He wasn't sure what he'd find when he entered the back room, but seeing Izaya laying motionless on the bed _still_ shocked him.

And so he didn't move. He couldn't look _away_ though.

But the more time he had to take in – the more upset he became. The more those tears stung at his eyes, trying to force them to just _stay down_ – he couldn't break down so easily. Not like this.

Not when in just the next room he could hear the _cries_ of his daughter. She needed him to be alright, he needed to be there for her.

Yet he was still somewhat startled when a hand placed itself on his shoulder, and Shizuo saw Shinra standing behind him.

"You can… say good bye."

Of course. Of _course_. He didn't know how to handle this; how did _anybody_ handle the death of a lover?

Izaya was all he ever wanted in a relationship. Their rocky start aside, Shizuo knew there was nobody else for him. She was the only one who could _handle_ him. But she balanced him out so well.

Of course – after she had discovered her pregnancy, all he would think was 'Will this hurt her? What if our child is a monster _just_ like me.'

And after the first time she got sick, Shinra insisted that this had nothing to do with him. After the second time too, and the third.

When Shizuo approached her, the only thing he could get himself to say was; "I'm sorry."

He kept repeating it over and over. And it wasn't long until he was on his knees, face buried in her chest clutching onto the sheets. His shoulders were shaking and all Shinra and Celty could do was stand there. They knew he wasn't going to be alright with this. They knew this wasn't going to be something Shizuo could just pick himself up after and move on.

So they left the room; and Shinra had gone to make sure the infant was alright.

It was a good 20 minutes before Shizuo had calmed himself down, making his way into his friend's living room once more.

Celty didn't say anything to him after, only offering him some tea.

It wasn't until they heard a door open, and footsteps make their way softly down the hall that they both looked in that direction.

Shinra slowly approached Shizuo with that tiny pink bundle in his arms that Shizuo had only seen for a few _seconds_ before all of the commotion.

"I figured you'd want to see her." He said, "She's really restless – and you're her father s-so maybe she'd… relax with you."

Shizuo was almost _confused_ at first when the child was offered to him. But one look down at her puffy little face and the only thing Shizuo wanted to do was hold her. She was so _small_, when she was placed in his arms he thought she'd break.

He could barely breathe when she tried to focus on her father's eyes. She was still so sleepy, her eyes were kind of cross-eyed; she looked kind of funny.

But she was breathtakingly beautiful.

Looking up at Shinra and Celty, he managed a smile. And a small laugh, but he couldn't look away for too long.

"She's definitely mine, huh?"

Shinra smiled in return, "All yours."

This child was all he had left of his beloved. But he wasn't going to treat her like she was – he wasn't going to make her feel obligated to fill in that void that had newly appeared. He was going to raise her the way he and Izaya had originally planned.

"I guess it'd be a good start by giving you your name, huh?" He spoke as softly as he possibly could, brushing her hair back gently with his finger tips. "Your mom liked really weird names – I thought some of the ones she chose were gonna get you made fun of when you went to school."

The infant yawned and closed her eyes, gripping onto the blankets she was wrapped in.

"But we agreed on Hibiko." Shizuo smiled. "So I'm happy to finally meet you, Hibiko. I'm your dad. I can't wait to watch you grow."


End file.
